you heard him enter the lavish penthouse apartment and from the sound of him tossing down his briefcase followed by the soft thump of him collapsing onto the couch, you knew it had been one of those days.

you poured a drink and left the bedroom to join him on the couch, handing him the drink then sitting next to him, looking at his face, “tough day baby?”

he laughed slightly, taking a sip of the drink, “yeah.”

he didn’t elaborate so you knew he didn’t want to talk about it. “here, put your head on my lap.” you instructed, taking his drink and setting it on the table. he moved so his head was on your lap and you began running your fingers through his hair to calm him down while he looked up at you with those big beautiful brown eyes.

“how did i ever get so lucky?” he asked.

you smiled down at him, “who says i’m not the lucky one?”

you and Jake were walking through the base when someone let out a whistle. Jake looked at you, “did that guy just-” he began.

“really it’s fine, Jake, don’t worry about it.” you grabbed his arm but he was already turning around, eyes landing on the guy.

“did you just catcall her?” he called.

“yeah, she’s hot, didn’t realize she was taken.” the guy answered.

Jake walked up to the guy, “you better apologize.”

“or what?”

Jake rolled up his sleeves, “i’m glad you asked.”

I almost followed you, but then i realized ur blog is “girls only” and that’s a bit sexist. I’m female, but gay, bi men, nonbinary, they enjoy fanfiction too. Your imagines also don’t look gender-specific, and you don’t have to write them with pronouns at all honestly- you could allow people to fill in thr blank as they read. I feel like you should remove that from your bio because it is sexist and has the possibility of driving people away. I hope you’re not homophobic or anything similar

okay, lets start with the bio which you say says “girls only”

it, in fact, says: this blog is really for people who identify as girls, sorry 😦 its difficult for me to write for male readers and since this is for fun and a hobby more than a job, thats what im sticking with ❤

so at this point, it already says “identify as girls” which is me trying to be inclusive.

you’re right, my blog doesn’t look gender specific because i try as hard as i can to make it not super gender specific, however, i do have to use pronouns in my imagines to make them read better.

i have in the past brought this up numerous times with my followers, an example of this is here where i tried doing “(s)he” instead of she or he to make it more inclusive, however after deliberation with my followers, we decided its better to stick with ‘she’ and people can change it as they read if they want to. there’s nothing stopping readers from simply reading it as he instead.

saying my blog is for people who identify as girls is not even fucking sexist. it literally says i myself am a girl and therefor this is how i write because I AM A GIRL AND THIS IS A HOBBY BLOG! I DO NOT OWE YOU ANY FUCKING THING AT ALL. I DO THIS SHIT FOR FREE.

i used to have such bad anxiety about letting people down all the time and this site used to cripple me because people just attack each other like you’re trying to come after me.

now. my favourite part. “i hope you’re not homophobic or anything.”

I AM A BISEXUAL WOMAN. IT SAYS IT ON MY BLOG.

I WRITE IMAGINES FOR LESBIANS, PANSEXUALS, BISEXUALS AND PEOPLE IN POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIPS.

if you’re going to fucking try to come after me with this weak shit, at least look at my actual fucking blog.

but whats really aggravating is apparently my bio made you NOT follow me so you’ll probably never see this and continue to live in this self delusional bubble where you think its okay to just message people negative and ignorant shit on anon.

so yeah. piss off. i dont need negative people like you on my blog.

this blog is for fun. its not a job. and i can do what i want.

please message me off anon. so i can block you. like every other negative asshole who tries to come for me on this blog.

add on: i dont know what its like to be a guy or a nonbinary person. and i would never assume to know. i dont want to put myself in their shoes because i cant. and therefor i think its almost inappropriate for me to write from their voice. im not a person of colour and i could never begin to imagine the struggles poc’s face everyday. i dont want to be the voice for a people who can voice themselves. i try to be as inclusive as i can. i never state skin colour or any physical features, i dont use gifs that include who would be presumed to be the reader so that anyone who looks at my imagines can try to jump into the Y/N skin. so i already do as much as i can to be inclusive.

fuck i can’t believe i feel like i have to even defend myself to this shit.

“Prudence what are you doing here?” Sabrina asked when she nearly bumped into the gorgeous girl outside her school.

“you have school.”

“yes. I do. but you don’t go here.” Sabrina said.

“i thought i might… tag along.” Prudence smiled.

“this doesn’t have anything to do with Y/N does it?”

“no, why ever would you assume such a thing? did she ask about me?”

Sabrina laughed, “look, if you like her you should just ask her out, i’m sure she would say yes.”

the witches plan was going… okay, that was until you strode into the room. “who is this bitch.” Madison sighed.

Myrtle was the first to recognize you’re aura, “watch your tongue stupid girl, that is a descendant of Lilith.”

“yes.” Michael said, wrapping an arm around your waist, “she is.”

“I guess i shouldn’t be too surprised.” Myrtle sighed, “however this does throw a terrible wrench in our plan.”

***
gif credit @lngdns

i never realized how fun writing Myrtle was

“come on, it’s just a date.” Nick said.

“yeah but… come on Nick, after the whole thing with you and the Weird Sisters i’m sorry if i’m a bit hesitant to pursue anything with you.” you sighed.

“i mean, that’s fair.” Nick grinned, brushing a strand of hair from your face, “that just means i’m going to have to try harder to prove to you that you’re different.”

you had found a purge mask. so of course you showed up at Boone’s room in lingerie and the purge mask, a white button down open to expose the lingerie and heals, a bat in your hand.

he grinned when you leaned in his door frame, “am i supposed to be scared?”

you lifted up the bat and approached him, tilting your head. his hands reached out to grab at your waist but you swung the bat, making him pull his hands back. he laughed, “you look amazing.”

you pulled off the mask and tossed the bat onto the bed, allowing him to grab your waist and pull you down on top of him, “yeah?”

“yeah.” he grinned.

“but i didn’t scare you.”

“i would recognize your body any day sweetheart.” he scoffed.

“so you don’t like the lingerie?” you teased.

“i love it.” he said, fingers dancing over the delicate fabric, “did you buy it just for me?”

“just for you.” you nodded.

“and how did i ever get so lucky?”

“did you hear we had a quest earlier today?” March asked.

the Countess sighed, “why, anything interesting?”

“well he did take a liking to your little dove.” March grinned, “i advize you not to kill him on the premises.”

“did she seem interested?” The Countess asked.

“i suppose a little. he had a way about him.” March began to explain, “ah, here he comes again now, you’ll see for yourself.”

Michael had just entered the hotel, the Countess stepped in his way, “you’re right James, this one is different.”

Michael looked the countess up and down, “and you are?”

“you can call me the countess.” she answered, holding out a perfectly manicured hand, “i speak for Y/N.”

“odd. she spoke well enough for herself earlier today.” Michael said, narrowing his eyes.

the countess laughed slightly, “you’re not the first who’s taken an interest in my little dove but there’s nothing you can do, she’s stuck here, with me, forever.”

“see that’s where you’re wrong.” Michael grinned.

March leaned towards the countess, “he released Queenie earlier this morning.”

“well that is interesting.” The Countess sighed, “and what makes you think you can come in here and take what’s rightfully mine.”

“Y/N doesn’t belong to you.”

“and you see that, pretty boy, is where you’re wrong.”

******

Michael gif credit @lngdns

-it would start with catching both of their eyes

-the entire fam would be like “oh no, another thing for these two to fight about.”

-they’d try to find ways to get you to say which one of them you prefer

-finally confiding in Tony that you’re honestly just into both of them

-she sits them down and is like “you both have to stop acting like idiots. so I did some recon, and she’s honestly just into both of you the same way.” “well now what?” “there’s this amazing thing called polyamory guys, look it up.”

-they look into it

-and they realize they could both be dating you and it doesn’t make them gay or in anyway have to even actually like each other

-you’re shocked when the both of them ask you to meet at Pop’s together

-you sit down across from them and they explain that they looked into polyamory and are willing to give both of them dating you a try if you’re up for it

-creating a group chat

-they both kinda have alpha personalities

-and this would clash at the start but they’d come up with ways to deal with it

-starting out with movie dates, Sweetpea immediately asserts his dominance by putting his arm over your shoulders while Reggie glares at him but settles with his hand going to your upper thigh, then Sweetpea glares at him because thats a good idea

-they both want to walk you to school

-Sweetpea is taller so he calls dibs on arm over your shoulders while Reggie holds your hand, or puts his hand in your back pocket, (wonder where he learned that from)

-people give you odd looks from the first day this happen

-”so what’s going on with Sweetpea and Reggie?” Veronica asks, Betty leaning closer because she wants to know too. when you explain it they’re both like “this is not going to last. Y/N, you know that, they hate each other.”

-your first date at your place and its kinda awkward at the start because having two massive guys walking around your kitchen is just kinda odd

-sitting on the couch to watch a movie

-these guys are huge so good luck trying to get comfortable on that couch

-moving to your bed because the couch has no space

-all of you lying on your backs until Sweetpea is like screw this, and pulls you over so you’re cradled against his chest, Reggie spoons you

-”so why do you guys hate each other so much?”

-you fall asleep first and they both are just kinda there. so they start whispering and talking. they realize they have more in common than they thought, plus if they want this whole thing to work they have to start being nicer to each other

-they agree to start working out together

-waking up cuddled between these gorgeous men

-at school you usually have class with at least one of them, and in classes with both each sit on either side of you

-they are fiercely protective of you

-like no one can fuck with you

-you always have one on either side of you

-you get cold and Sweetpea offers his leather while Reggie offers his letterman jacket

-and these guys are big so their jackets are big

-the other serpents kinda dont know what to do at first. like, they’ll accept you, but does this mean they suddenly have to warm up to Reggie?

-getting along really well with the Serpents because you make Sweetpea super happy and he’s such a sweet little muffin

-they’re both super cocky

-which is great

-”give me a kiss sugar.”

-the best fucking pet names.

-they both like to call you Princess

-Reggie is more of a “doll face” kinda guy

-Sweetpea likes “pretty girl.”

-can you imagine partying with these guys?

-that would be so hot, like, one on either side and they can never keep their hands to themselves so they’re all over you

-stealing their clothes

-tracing Sweetpea’s tattoo makes Reggie want to get a tattoo of some kind

-i mean, they try to keep it to a minimum, but sometimes they end up looking at each other when they’re with you and it spurs them on, like a good kind of competition on who can make you feel the best

-they’re also super horny

-they like marks. im sorry if you dont. this is just a thing with them

-and they’re rough

-plus, Sweetpea has those rings so get fucking ready doll

~~-the first time it happens is kinda odd but they make up for it the next morning, its all about rhythm and these boys realize they have a knack for it~~

-honestly its all just hanging out

-you and Sweetpea go to Reggie’s sports games and cheer him on from the sidelines

-group hugs when Reggie wins

-running onto the field and Reggie spins you around, Sweetpea stands there and when Reggie sets you down they bro hug

-they both just kinda like lifting you up all the time

-Sweetpea is king of throwing you over his shoulder

-Reggie’s more of a piggy back guy

-sometimes they try to coordinate things

-like cooking for you, but this never ends well. they’re huge fans of take out

-they actually are okay when you fall asleep first and they just talk about stuff

-sometimes pretending to be asleep to hear what they’re talking about

-usually its kinda dumb stuff but mostly its about you

-taking them both shopping. Sweetpea hates it with a burning passion but Reggie is a fashion icon so he helps you choose stuff

-well, Sweetpea helps in Victoria’s secret

-they agree on silk and lace

-they also agree on loving to tear your clothes off

-when you’re having a rough day, you have two adorable big puppy boys to cuddle you and make you feel better

-they also like attention

-studying together is you studying and both of them just playing with your hair and groaning about not wanting to study

-they always want to crash girls night but you always evade them

-the fact that this dynamic actually works out shocks everyone, Betty and Veronica especially want to know what it’s like having both Sweetpea and Reggie

-its actually just so loving once everything is settled though

-massive group hugs and cuddles

-once they’re comfortable with each other of course

-dragging them both around at carnivals

-its actually so funny because Sweetpea is usually pretty stone cold and Reggie can be kind of distant and then between these two huge asshole looking dudes is just you, and you’re a little bundle of sunshine in compairison

-ultimate lazy cuddle days with these babies who just need cuddles and head massages

-i’ve already said it but they are just so protective of you

-and Sweetpea has the whole gang behind him

-Reggie has the football team

-so you are protected AF

-sometimes they’ll fight over who gets to do things. arm wrestle for who gets to drive you to school one morning. a shoot out on the basketball court to see who gets to dance with you first at prom

-yeah everyone would know you’re taken

-like no one flirts with you because everyone just knows

-you know what. i am here for this okay?

****
gif credit @bellblake

-you’d start off helping him out and quickly move up the ranks until you’re his direct right hand woman

-he’s always super impressed with your work ethic

-he’s attracted to you from the start

-after a particularly rough night of mayhem he gets caught up in the moment and kisses you

~~-we all know what this leads to: some pretty kinky shit yo~~

-after that he trusts you even more as his second

-he gets super protective

-people were scared of you before but now? you’re the second most dangerous person in the city

-people know not to mess with you. not because the Joker will mess them up, but because you will

-the Joker adores your similarities

-people are scared enough of you two when you’re alone, let alone when you’re together

-people will literally piss themselves if the two of you show up

-Joker likes to play

-i mean, i’m not saying he’d totally get off on hurting people but he totally does fam

-whenever you get too caught up in doing your job as his right hand, sometimes he’s like, just live a little and will throw you over his shoulder

-driving super fast cars

-i mean you’re in a relationship but i feel like you would have made you way to the top before that happened so people still respect you

-the Joker would be pissed if they didn’t respect you

-idk this would be a pretty hella dynamic